The midlife crisis has usually been defined as a man thing, involving a young hot woman and the acquisition of a sports car or a motorcycle (or both).

Recent times have brought us the cougar,  but for the most part, she is not seen in the same way. Based on my friends and colleagues, most women do not experience midlife this way. It’s often more a case of the blahs, a feeling of being stuck in neutral. The job hasn’t developed as planned, the kids are out of the house, elderly parents may now be out of the picture, and the challenges that made life completely crazy have dissipated.

What’s a woman to do?

We could buy a red convertible and hire a hot pool boy, but most of us don’t want to turn cougar. We just want to find meaning and satisfaction again.

About a year ago, I started thinking about these issues for myself. I could create a list of what was wrong, but I had a really hard time converting those problems into what I actually wanted. It’s hard to move forward until you flip complaints into goals and desires.

After stumbling through a number of courses that forced me to examine and unpack these thoughts, I realized where I needed to go to feel fulfilled again.

And that’s what we all want with the rest of our lives, to feel like those years are fulfilling and not wasted. Although I wouldn’t mind having a convertible…

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